Watching in horror while a beauty technician, whether a hairdresser, nail technician or even makeup artist, does the wrong thing is a universal female experience, but should more women speak up when they notice things going awry? What are the implications of speaking up or remaining silent?

I’ll start with my story. One day, I went to a hair salon and asked the hairdresser if she knew how to make twists with kinky extensions. She emphatically confirmed she did. However, as soon as she started, I could tell she didn’t. I pointed out that it wasn’t smooth and showed her a picture on my phone. She insisted that particular brand of kinky hair couldn’t be smooth and that she was doing it correctly.

Now, you might be thinking I should have simply gotten up and left. But I had already planned to get my hair done that day, right there, and hadn’t scheduled an appointment anywhere else. So, she offered to have another hairdresser in the shop finish it for me. The second hairdresser did a test, and at least it looked smoother than what the first one had done. I ended up spending the entire day and night in that shop, constantly complaining that the hair wasn’t smooth enough. By the time we were finished, she was so upset with me that she didn’t even trim my hair properly.

When I got home, I was distraught; my hair looked scanty and rough. I could hardly sleep. The next day, I woke up and went back to the salon, asking her to trim the split ends. And guess what? She refused, saying that I complained throughout. A whole scene unfolded in front of her shop until passersby actually begged her to fix my hair. Begging her, after paying for the hair, was jarring. She finally agreed and trimmed it so much that when I eventually took it out, my hair was falling off.

This experience highlights why the question of why women don’t speak up when their hairdressers, makeup artists, or nail technicians are performing beauty treatments can be so nuanced. In every woman’s mind, when a beauty treatment isn’t going her way, two thoughts often emerge: “Is it really that bad?” and “Should I speak up and cause a scene?”

The question then becomes: should they advocate for themselves or simply go home and undo the style? Of course, they need to speak up and express their displeasure because bottling up emotions and pretending to be happy when you’re not isn’t healthy, not to mention a waste of your time and money. However, they could also be wary of argumentative beauty technicians who might become confrontational or retaliatory.

Being quiet and avoiding a scene might stem from societal expectations for women to be nice and sweet, even in the face of mistreatment. Some women remain quiet because they lack the confidence to speak and advocate for themselves. They are often frightened of not being liked, of rocking the boat, being regarded as difficult, or ‘teaching’ the professional their job. Whichever the reason could be, many women do not speak up when they are dissatisfied with beauty services.

Personally, there’s nothing better than having someone skilled at their job do your hair, nails, or makeup. Such professionals are also more receptive to corrections when the result isn’t exactly to your specifications. The catch, however, is that these people don’t come cheap.

So, how can you avoid these situations?

  • Seek Referrals: Go to beauty technicians whose work you’ve seen, perhaps through a friend or neighbour. This way, you can be more confident in the quality of their work.
  • Provide References: Always have a reference picture or video. Never simply ask them to do “anything” for you.
  • Speak Up Early: Address issues immediately when things go wrong. Don’t wait until the entire process is complete.

These tips can help you avoid sticky situations and ensure you always look your best.